i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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