Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
