do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
