I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
