I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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