when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
