It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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