Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You can't motorboat a personality
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
