I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
