maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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