Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
