He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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