I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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