I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Fuck appropriateness.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize