ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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