I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
