She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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