please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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