Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
