My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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