I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
is that a dick in a sweater?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
