Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
