There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
