He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
