idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
