She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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