Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Bring me that man meat
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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