I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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