I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize