i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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