i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
