marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
