I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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