Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize