you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
