Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
