69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
