I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize