you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Randomize
