the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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