i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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