my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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