im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
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