Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
