After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize