He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
