we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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