you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
