I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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