What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
