I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
