My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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