so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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