Do vagina's smell?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You left your phone here
Wait...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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