are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
