actually, I'm a sock model
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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