he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize