this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
