is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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