Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
