dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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