Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i will never coherently bang her
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
